Category Archives: Any Meat

Texas Road-Kill Chili

  • 16 oz cantadina tomato sauce
  • 1 tbsp. Salt
  • 3 tsp. oregano
  • 4 lbs. fresh road-kill
  • 2 beers or
  • 750 ml zinfindel
  • 2 jalapeno peppers; chopped
  • 2-4 tbsps. chili powder
  • 4 cloves crushed garlic
  • 1 tbsp. green onions; finely chopped
  • 1 tsp. black pepper
  • 1 tbsp. cumin powder
  • 2 tbsp. chopped bell pepper

Grind up 4 pounds of fresh road-kill. Just about anything is acceptable (armadillo, rabbit, possum, chicken, unidentified…), but stay away from skunks since their odoriferousnous may have a negative effect on the final result. If you live in an area where there’s not much highway traffic, or where urbanization has scared off all the critters and your neighbors keep their pets indoors, then you can use (all) the following meat as a substitute:

  • 2 lbs. ground beef (chili grind)
  • 1 lb. venison (chili grind) .. pork is ok
  • 1 lb. ground Italian sausage
  • 12 oz. Mexican chorrizo sausage

Mix all the meat in a large kettle. If using the ‘substitute’ ingredients above, then cut open the chorrizo wrapping and squeeze out the contents into the mixture of the 4 lbs. of other meats. Brown the meat, stirring occasionally to mix well. Once the meat has browned, add the tomato sauce, beer (or wine) and all of the seasonings. It is a good idea at this early juncture to use only half of the chili pepper and oregano and reserve the rest until later so that you can season to your taste.

Cook over low-medium heat for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking, then reduce heat to low and cover. Cook covered for 1 hour, stirring from time to time. Sample for taste, increase seasoning as desired, and cook on low for another hour, stirring occasionally.

Sample again and add additional cumin, chili pepper, oregano, Jalapenos or critters to suit your taste; turn off heat and place in the refrigerator over night. Reheat on the following day and serve. For an especially tasty presentation, serve up in bowls and sprinkle the top with chopped white onions and shredded Monterrey Jack and cheddar cheeses.

Yield: 6-8 servings

Sloppy Gi Joneskies

  • 8 lbs. road kill; ground*
  • 1 cup chopped onion
  • 1 cup chopped celery
  • 1 cup apple; chopped, cored & peeled
  • 2 qts. tomato sauce
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 2 tbsp. mustard
  • 1/2 cup vinegar

*Beef preferred, but armadillo will suffice.

Brown meat. Saute celery, onion and apples with 1/4 cup vegetable oil. Combine ingredients for sauce and simmer for 15 minutes. Add sauce to meat, onion, celery and apple mixture. Serve with big buns.

Plan to make this 1 day before you need it served because it always tastes better as a leftover (this will also allow the opportunity to upgrade your road kill!)

Yield: 50 servings

Roadkill Dog Biscuits

  • 500 grams raw meat (kangaroo, deer, boar etc); minced
  • 2 kgs maize flour
  • 500 gms chopped peanuts
  • water

Mix all the ingredients together with water to a dough consistency. Roll out to a 1/2 inch thickness, cut into long shapes and bake in a moderate oven until well cooked.

Road-Kill Stew #3

  • 4 lb. road kill; (raccoon or opossum)
  • 1 lb. whole garlic cloves
  • 3 cup jalapeno peppers with seeds
  • 1 bucket green onions
  • 1 gal. flat beer (pabst is good)
  • 5 cup toadstools
  • 3 tbsp. cumin
  • 3 cup wild weeds
  • vegetable of choice

The road-kill should preferably 2 to 3 days old. Marinate in road oil and other highway grease at least 1 day.

Road Kill Stew

  • 5 carrots; cut up
  • 1 lg. onion; diced
  • 2 lbs. stew meat; cut into pieces
  • 1 can mushroom soup
  • 6 med. potatoes; cut
  • 1/2 cup soy sauce
  • 2 cup water
  • 2 tbsp. lemon juice

Put all except soup and lemon juice in crock pot. After 8-10 hours add soup and lemon juice. Thicken with a little cornstarch and water.